We all have experiences in which someone gets under our skin or is able to push our buttons. While in some cases, we may view this interaction in a positive light, such as when someone we like gives us butterflies, in other cases, it could be an interaction that causes us much grief.
Think of the co-worker who you hate to be stuck on a project with. Or the relative that you get into an argument with whenever you see him. Or the in-law who always seems to have it out for you, no matter what you do.
It’s easy to imagine the people who excite us to be our soulmates; however, there is a very good chance that the people who give us the most stress and who get under our skin in a not-so-enjoyable-way are our soulmates too.
Think about the people who can get a rise out of us. There is a reason why you are so emotionally invested in those relationships. When our buttons are pushed, that gives us unique insight into our subconscious. If someone says something to you that bothers you, there is a great value in thinking about why that statement caused you such stress. Most likely the statement bothers you because you believe it to be true.
For example, if someone called you lazy and you know you’re not lazy, chances are you’re not going to bothered by that statement. However, if someone called you lazy and you subconsciously believe that you’re lazy and hate that about yourself, you are probably going to be highly annoyed by that statement.
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Soulmates are here to help us grow, and sometimes we experience the most growth through pain. Using the previous example, if a soulmate calls you lazy and it bothers you, you can now confront that belief and heal it. You can think about why the statement bothers you and acknowledge that you believe you are lazy.
Then you can start to do the inner work of challenging that belief. For example, you bring to mind all of the times when you were not lazy and in doing so, you begin to prove your belief wrong.
Soulmates appear in our lives in all shapes and sizes. Some make us feel good; others may make us feel bad. But all of them help us to grow.